Is it normal to not know what to do with your life

The illusion of safety and security actually lulls you to sleep and makes you susceptible to unforeseen events. Do you really want to feel amazing all the time? Do you want your life to be the equivalent of sipping Mai Tais on the beach or do you want to struggle a little bit to build a life you actually care about? When I publish a new post, I subconsciously tell myself the entire universe and every inhabitant in it is going to stop dead in their tracks to judge my words and pounce on me when I say something stupid or embarrassing.

As much as I can, I try to take myself out of the center of the universe. This is just a blog post. Think about it. I love using that word because it trivializes your feelings of fear and doubt. Quit being afraid of being butthurt. You knew it when you were seven years old.

And you know the options. Self-help is nothing more than a reminder of everything you already know. When he's not writing, he enjoys reading, exercising, eating chicken wings, and occasionally drinking old-fashioned's.

Rand is of course entirely correct, as far as she goes. The true distinction is between criminals, whether individual or organized, and the law upholders. She comes right up to the issue, but cannot address it; 6. You shall not kill. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Those last five deal with our relationship with one another, whereas the first five deal with the acknowledgement of the Authority which made the law.

Without that authority it all falls down into tortured reasoning and rationalizations, and denial. I always tell my friends. You are what you do, not what you say you do.. Thanks Ayo. The same goes for you. You already know the answer. You know that. Just remember, you have everything you need already. Please help. Sounds like you had an epiphany back there and stopped going for people you thought you should go for and instead went for someone you liked and loved.

Good work. Makes me confident you can do the next bit of self-development work you need to do as well. Soaking up all these introjects, you assumed you should work hard at school, should go to university, should work in a competitive industry, should rise to the top.

I think your fear comes from your having in mind a sort of board game of years and milestones — of what milestone you should reach by what year. This is not a helpful game. A friend of mine co-founded a new creative industry business at 80 natthecat. Find another game. Reading your email, I cannot be sure if it is the not-rising-to-the-top that is distressing you, or the work itself. Do you love watching Netflix?

Write it down. Love petting dogs? Write that down, too. Or if I had all the time in the world? Put another way: if you were to watch today a video of yourself in ten years, what would you want to see? Dream big. Imagine a life you love. That may include volunteering, signing up for an event in your city, going to a meetup, taking a class, going for a run, backpacking in a new country, or any number of things.

Ask the people in your life what makes them tick. What do they do with their time? Each time you try something new, be mindful of your emotional response. Do you feel lighter and more energized? Or bored and drained? Add anything that puts a pep in your step to the list.

For each item on your list, ask yourself why you love doing it. This often gets you to your values. Maybe you love working for a startup because you value close collaboration. Maybe you love writing posts because you value helping others.

Maybe you love watching Netflix because you value entertainment. For example, if you love eating ice cream because it tastes great hey, I get it , cross it off your list. If you love working for a startup because you value close collaboration, what else might satisfy that value? Use the world around you for inspiration. Think outside of the box. Add anything you find you love or might love doing to your list.

But this is defeatist thinking. To truly discover what you want to do with your life, you have to do something. Start with your list. Are you willing to consistently devote your time and energy to it?

Will you practice it until you become good, even great? Will you put it first at times, when others want your attention? Aim to have at least three things remaining on your list after this exercise. So, for each item remaining on your list, ask yourself:. To be called a crap writer, even? What counts is whether you continue to write. So we stay complacent.

And that complacency makes us unhappy. So why not, to the best of your ability, throw your hat in the ring? Why not give yourself the chance to feel truly happy and fulfilled? The ability to set out into the unknown—and roll with the punches when they come—is an invaluable one. By virtue of our humanity we will all fail, and those who learn to accept and embrace it will rise above it. So go against the grain. Set your own standard. Your current priorities may include work, school, children, spending time with your friends, running errands, and so on.

Did you spend five minutes when you woke up scrolling through emails? Did you spend an hour on the phone chatting with a friend? Did you spend twenty minutes swiping left and right on Bumble? By becoming more cognizant of how you spend your time, you can identify new opportunities to incorporate what you love doing.

For example, I noticed I spent an extra thirty minutes daily waiting to get onto subway trains during rush hour. I now get to work an hour earlier and leave an hour earlier to avoid rush hour, giving me an extra thirty minutes to pursue my dreams each day. Heck, maybe stay in a night or two. That could leave you feeling better and more productive the next day. Are you in a relationship that makes you feel undervalued and anxious? Spend your energy on things you love doing, people that lift you up, and situations that bring out the best in you.

Because those are the things worth penciling in. Your board can include pictures of things you love doing, quotes from people who found meaning in their lives, photos of yourself feeling happy, and anything else that helps you visualize a life you love. Seek out those who also love what you love or might love doing, and who feel they know what to do with their lives. How did they handle that uncertainty? How did they prioritize what they love doing, and ensure they never gave up?

What makes them now feel they know what to do with their lives? If you do, take advantage of it! To start the process of discovering what to do with your life, set goals that are S. This clarifies your focus so you know exactly what you want to achieve. View the things you love remaining on your list.

Measurable : Ensure you can measure your progress towards your goal. This ensures you stay on track. The goal above is measurable because you can keep track of how many hours you devote to the thing you love each week. How will you commit to ten hours per week? Take the goal above. Is ten hours per week attainable for you? If not, what do you feel you can realistically achieve, if you take your goal seriously and do all you can to prioritize it? Relevant: Your goal has to mean something to you, for you to achieve it.

Relevance is the foundation of your drive. Time-Bound: This is the scariest part of goal-setting. It has to have a deadline. Without a deadline, we can coast indefinitely. For example, the goal above has a deadline of two months. Write your goals down, and check in with yourself regularly. Set time aside in your calendar to help you stay on track. Good habits help you achieve your goals.

They help you practice consistency and put you in a good state of mind. Here are a few that may help you:. And if you misstep, forgive yourself! Instead of focusing on those who think they know the secret to life, focus on the discoveries you have yet to make. Thing is, that map may change. Nothing is certain in life, as wonderful as that would be! Once we make peace with this, we can set ourselves free.